The Package is a new movie airing on Netflix.  A group of friends goes hiking in the woods, and one of them accidentally cuts his penis off with a knife.  The film becomes a race against time to get the penis to the hospital so that doctors can reattach it.


Um…It wasn’t as bad as it could have been.  This is a comedy film and there are a few moments of levity.  It’s not completely devoid of jokes like say, Jack, and Jill.  There were actual characters in the movie, although they were pretty one-dimensional.


Where do I start?  The movie isn’t funny.  There are many attempts at humor, but almost all of them fall flat.  Cliches fill the film, and it’s bogged down by the well-worn material.

The cinematography is something that should be a plus, given their location, but it isn’t.  The lighting is flat and uninspired, and the shot composites are the most straightforward and most efficient available.  There isn’t any artistry there.

The acting is mediocre, although I almost expected it to be worse given the terrible dialogue they’re forced to read.


The penis.  They show it several times, and it’s not good.  On its best day, a penis is a strange curiosity to look at.  When it’s made of rubber and has been: thrown up on, bitten by a snake, tossed in the dirt, and had bugs crawling on it, it’s far from the best day.

Most of the visual gags in the movie revolve around showing the penis, and none of them are any good.  They’re ugly and off-putting.  This movie should have taken a page from There’s Something about Mary.  That film understood that you show just enough to get a hint, without going too far.



This film is on Netflix, which means (if you pay for a subscription) it’s ostensibly free.  It’s not worth it.


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The Author

Mark Phillips

Mark Phillips

Mark Phillips is the author of several thriller and literary novels. His Bentley Books series introduced the world to sadistic serial killer Bentley Grimes, a villain of unbelievable cruelty and unimaginable coldness. His literary novels are populated with richly drawn characters struggling with issues that affect our society today, such as: homosexuality, alcoholism, family struggles, poverty, greed, and bigotry.

He is an avid sports fan as well as a lover of movies and television.

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