OUT OF THIS WORLD

Out of This World was a bonkers show.  Airing from 1987 until 1991 the show focused on Evie, the daughter of a human woman and an alien father.  On her thirteenth birthday, Evie developed powers that allowed her to freeze time by touching her index fingers together.  Later, she was able to gleep, the word the show used to describe her ability to manifest anything she could think of.

You might think you’re prepared for this show based on that quick rundown I gave you.  I assure you, you are not.

THE PLOT

The episode with Evie trying to make a music video for her school project.  She decided the best thing to do was to film her mother, Donna, in the bathtub and overdub it with Splish Splash.

Her tape threatens to go from porno to snuff film, however, as her mother chases her down the stairs demanding the tape back.

Evie hides by turning into a tree in the middle of the living room, because you know, just opening the door would be too easy.

Her mother sees through this ruse of course and threatens to rip her “limb from limb” which is as sophisticated as this show gets with humor.

Evie tells her mom that she was just trying to get an A on the project and that no one would know it was her, which is what every guy tells every girl that he wants to videotape having sex before he uploads it to youporn.

Someone knocks on the door and Donna decides to hide in the closet, asking Evie to get rid of them.  So, I guess that’s where Evie got her terrible hiding instincts from.  They were the kids that tried to hide behind the stop sign during hiding and seek.

It turns out to be Chief Applegate, who said he would give Donna (who is the mayor) a ride to work.  He sees some water on the floor and says it must be coming from the closet.  He tries to open the door, but Donna pulls it closed.  When he finally does get it open, Donna has put a lampshade on her head.  There is no explanation why there’s a lampshade in the closet.

Chief Applegate declares it the ugliest lamp he’s ever seen, showing that his I.Q. might actually go into the negatives and promptly leaves.

Before Donna can properly yell at Evie there’s another knock on the door.  Evie gleeps her into regular clothes using the best editing software that 1990 has to offer and Evie answers the door.

They’ve received a package from her Uncle Michael, whom we never seen.  Evie says that her mother told her she was five when uncle Michael left and Donna confirms.  Donna says that one night he went for pizza…in Italy.  Evie asks how long it’s been since Donna has seen her brother and Donna says twelve years.

Although, if Evie knew that she was five when he left and she’s seventeen now, she should have probably been able to figure that out.  I guess math isn’t one of her special powers.

Another package comes and starts speaking.  Both the women stare at the package unable to figure out the very obvious fact that uncle Michael has mailed himself from Italy.

He explains that his band is taking a break and he’s come home.

In the kitchen, we get some more exposition and Michael tells them that he’s changed his name to Mick because it sounds more like a famous rock star.

Mick tells them that he left to follow an Italian woman that he was in love with.

Donna says that she needs to get to the office and she’s not dressed for it.  Evie offers to help and somehow the two of them totally forget about the adult human sitting right in front of them.

Evie gleeps Donna into a new outfit and Mick freaks.

This forces them to explain.  Donna starts out by saying, “do you remember when I met Troy and his spaceship crashed on this planet?”

So, what the hell?  Mick knows that aliens exist?  How wide spread is this knowledge and why hasn’t that alien task force from ALF come to kill these people yet?

With Mick all caught up, he asks Evie to whip him up a tall french woman.  Evie conjures him a sex slave but tortures him by not allowing him to touch her.

Mick pulls out his guitar and Evie tells him that she’s making music videos at school.  She plays them and it’s like the worst episode of America’s Funniest Home Video.

The first is her boyfriend Chris pressing his nose against the glass and signing Camptown Races.

The others aren’t music videos at all, but one just following Donna around the house and the other is the Chief tap dancing.

Evie explains that she’s going to make a better video this weekend and Mick tells her that if she wants, you know, actual music in her music videos that he can write her an original song.

He starts to play but laments that without his band the music sounds thin.  So Evie agrees to conjure the band.  They all show up with a snap of her fingers and, for some reason, none of them questioned how they’ve materialized in a modest house in suburban California.  I guess when you’ve taken that many drugs you stop questioning things.

The band starts playing and even though Mick has to making this song up on the fly (it’s called I Want a Woman from Another Planet) the rest of the band somehow know the song.

Donna walks in and Evie wishes the band back into the cornfield.

Chris walks in and announces that Tiffany is visiting their town.  In a coincidence that can only happen on terrible syndicated shows, she’s having a contest for the best music video.  The prize is $500.  That might not sound like a lot, but back in 1990, you could buy a whole CD player for that kind of money.

Chris says that he’s sure his music video will beat Evie’s.  He put a hidden camera in his dad’s shower and dubbed Moon over Miami on it.

You know, in doing these Dumpster Dives I’ve noticed that the 80s and early 90s were awash with sex crimes.  What the hell?

Chris asks Evie if she’s excited that Tiffany is coming and she says she’d probably be more excited if it were George Michael.  Oh, Evie, if George Michael was visiting your town he’d be stealing that blonde boyfriend right out from under you.

Evie says that she’s not interested in entering that contest and Chris says that if Evie won he’d be so jealous he wouldn’t talk to her for a year.

Evie leaves to hang out with Mick and Chris steals her tape to enter her into the contest.  Pick a lane, Chris.  Do you want to be jealous?

As Evie goes to sleep her uncle Mick tells her that with her powers she could be a star and feature in her own video.  We’re never told that this is anything that Evie wants and it never comes up again.  It seems to be there only because the writers couldn’t fill out the rest of the episode and so they put in a full-length music video in as a dream sequence.

If this thing was any more 80s it would be snorting cocaine off a mirror while expressing ignorance about AIDS.

The next day everyone gathers in the local diner to await Tiffany.  She walks in to a staggering crowd of about a dozen.  I know Tiffany was famous for touring malls but I wasn’t aware of her eatery appearances.

Tiffany announces that Evie is the winner of the music video is Mick’s song.  Chris explains what he did and says he thought it was her video.

But remember this is the music industry in the 80s and Tiffany announces that, as producer, Evie gets the money.  And the real talent is screwed over again.

Evie says she’ll share the money with Chris and Mick.  There are no hurt feelings or repercussions over any of this because conflict is for all those other shows.

The credits roll and the episode ends.

Before we part for the day, though, I’d like to leave you with a little present.  Something to show you just how terrible this show is.  Check out the theme song:

That about sums it up.  See you next time.

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The Author

Mark Phillips

Mark Phillips

Mark Phillips is the author of several thriller and literary novels. His Bentley Books series introduced the world to sadistic serial killer Bentley Grimes, a villain of unbelievable cruelty and unimaginable coldness. His literary novels are populated with richly drawn characters struggling with issues that affect our society today, such as: homosexuality, alcoholism, family struggles, poverty, greed, and bigotry.

He is an avid sports fan as well as a lover of movies and television.

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